Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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