I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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