I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
