he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
