I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Vodka?
Forever.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
