the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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