This girl is more easily done than said...
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
