giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
