Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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