doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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