i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
