There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
