i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
