i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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