I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize