if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
