return my video game
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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