i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
