But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
