Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
