I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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