I just threw up on my dentist
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We need to rekindle our bromance
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize