I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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