the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
