the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
