shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I will pee on everything he values.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
