After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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