he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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