My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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