forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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