No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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