I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
