i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
