But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize