she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
