...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
