i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
