Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
