i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
