i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
