i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
