so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize