sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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