get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
