the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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