Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
