Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
