Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize