maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
