how hairy? two words: wookie tits
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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