i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
