Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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