so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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