yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
