The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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