Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
