the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
