so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
