O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
